The Future Isn’t Chronological
And Neither Are You!
Now that YouTube is testing a non-chronological subscription feed, we’re all doomed to an algorithmic future.
To prepare, I’ve checked into several things that will soon move away from their chronological constraints.
Here’s what I found:
No longer will shows adhere to a strict timeline. Instead, Netflix will present them to you based on their algorithm’s understanding of your interests.
Want to binge on Shameless, but only the episodes with gratuitous sex? Netflix knows you so well!
Nudity will fill every episode. And, as far as you know, no other episode will exist.
To keep costs low, Southwest will fill all planes and select destinations based on an algorithmic understanding of need.
Sure, you might not get where you want to be but you’ll get somewhere. Besides, flying to Midway before you can get anywhere is so boring and predictable.
Cooking will be wild when pesky chronological limitations disappear. Hello Fresh will send recipe cards algorithmically tuned to your taste.
Why bother prepping anything when the algorithm knows Instagraming the dish is all that’s important to you?
Hello Fresh will provide an Instagram-ready photo and instructions where eating comes first. Cooking just gets in the way, so why bother with it?
Oh boy, is this one going to be fun!
IKEA will print instructions based upon the algorithmic understanding of your frustration level.
You might not end up with usable furniture but you’ll maintain relationships with the ones’ you love.
Age will be meaningless and so will birthdays. Each morning an algorithmic understanding of your needs will determine your age.
Today I’m 35. Tomorrow? Who knows!
Our non-chronological future is full of possibilities!