It’s a Festivus for the Rest of Us!

What a great idea, Stella J. Let’s do this thing:

  • I don’t understand people who only eat steak well done. Like, who even are you? Do you know what happiness is?
  • The same question applies to people who don’t eat steak. Who wronged you? Did a cow kill your father?
  • I’m tired of people arguing that Bad Santa is not the best Christmas movie around. You’re wrong, deal with it.
  • There’s that whole Trump thing. That’s a big one. Especially now that he wants more nukes. So, it’s been nice knowing everyone and all.
  • And on that, why can’t our elected leaders actually talk to people they don’t agree with anymore? Is that so difficult? But we can’t talk to people we disagree with either, so oh well.
  • I’m tried of going to the movies and seeing trailers for things I don’t care about. This is Orlando. It’s a big city. Why don’t we have an Alamo Drafthouse? Or even a cheep knock off version?
  • Speaking of Orlando, is it possible to drive on a road that isn’t under construction, has a toll, or both of those things at once? That would be nice.
  • Finally, what’s the deal with people hating on my jogger pants? They’re dressy sweatpants. They’re awesome. Deal with it!

Happy Festivus! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to the bagel strike.

Freelance writer and consultant helping nonprofits, businesses, and individuals tell their stories. Co-Founder of The Writing Cooperative. 👉

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