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90’s Lyrics Were Whack

But I loved them anyway.

I’ve been listening to a lot of 90’s on 9 since it’s SiriusXM free preview week. This is the music I grew up with and the music that I love most to this day. But the more I look back, the more I realize the lyrics just didn’t make any sense at all.

Fly by Sugar Ray

“All around the world statutes crumble for me.”

If this is true, then lets just have Mark McGrath walk by every confederate statute in the country. Problem solved. Help us Mark McGrath, you’re our only hope!

Closing Time by Semisonic

“Time for you to go back to the places you will be from.”

The places you will be from? This is a grammatical mess. Will be implies the future and from implies the past. This is some Back to the Future level songwriting.

No Diggity by Blackstreet

“Giving ’em eargasms with my mellow accent.”

Eargasms.

Ear.

Gasms.

Wannabe by Spice Girls

“I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah.”

The 90’s were about mumbling nonsense into the microphone in a catchy, pop-backed way. Jokes on us because 25 years later (25 YEARS LATER!) we’re still bopping to this jam and singing these obnoxious words in the shower. You don’t? Just me? Whatever man.

Crossroads by Bone Thugs in Harmony

“Hey, can somebody anybody tell me why we die, we die? I don’t want to die.”

Have you ever listened to this song? Really listened? This song is sad as hell. All about people they know that have died. And one of them was hung. That’s so messed up. Life man. Life.

Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind

“And the four right chords can make me cry.”

The four right chords can make you cry and all 90’s bands knew this. That’s why they only used four chords in all of their songs. The same four chords. The four right chords.

Commence crying.

Written by

Co-Founder of The Writing Cooperative ➡️ Connect at JustinCox.com.

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